I reach a point and I retreat. I become antisocial, anti-I-don't-know-what; anti-something. I can't explain it. I start to hate things, like things I've created: relationships and such. I'm like a hermit crab, I retreat into my shell. I retreat into myself. If I become too fimaliar with people and if I interact with them... I can't express it... I start just hating somthing; what I'm not sure. Is it them? No. I don't know what it is, but I develop all these negative feelings. It's really sudden too. If a person persists with interaction then they have to understand that it is going to take a while and distance for me to move past my negative feelings. I can't explain myself. Least said, soonest mended - or something like that.
I feel like the girl in Forrest Gump, I can relate to her. I know why she runs away, she has to. I feel like that, but I can't just leave like she can. I wish I could sometimes. I'm out of controll and overwhelmed and underwhelmed and just plain emotional, all at the same time. I need to get out, I need to be free and uncontained. I'm trapped here. I need to get out, I'm stuck. If someone came tomorrow and offered me a way out, I would take it. I think I would come back, I don't know how long for though. I don't know if I could stay. I'm not sure of anything, I just need to get out. I'm in a cage. I need to get out. I can't.