Hello, 'ello, 'ello! What do we have here? Is that life popping it's head around the corner? Am I being moved off the waiting list? Gosh, it's happening quicker than I expected!
Since I was 5 I have been in this retched place called school! Now soon I'll be sixteen. I have always said that being in school felt like 'pre-life', I was always just waiting to be out and an adult. Now it's coming so quickly I don't have time to blink. I have a year and a half left until I'm in the big bad world. I am tossing up between primary school teaching and creative industries again, although I think, in the end, teaching will win, and everone just seems to be treating me more like an adult for some reason (maybe they are finally getting it). Oh, and I haven't told you (although if we are friends on facebook then you will most likely know already), Daniel and I are now facebook official! It was kind of a duel decision, but I'm old fashioned so I'm making him ask me formally! And I won't say that he will be my "boyfriend" (although, technically, he will) becuase I really dislike that term. Not as much, however, as I dislike the term "girlfriend". Anyway back to my point: everything that seemed lightyears away or so incredibly unatainable is suddenly just out of my reach.
I guess I was just puttering along really; praying that The Lord would take charge of my life and lead me to my path how, and when, he saw fit. I feel like I've done nothing special to get here, I just woke up and found that I am. To be completely truthfull, it's terrifying! To have everything you have dreamed about, for so long, held right there in front of you, and to be told that, pretty soon, you can have it... it's so exhilerating and wonderful and frightening!
Just think, a year and a half of highschool, four years of uni, a year of teaching, nine months of gestation, that's about 7 years. In seven years I could be a mother... wow! Oh HOW ECXITING!! How wonderfully exciting! Well, legially, I could even be married in two and a half!!!
This might take a while to sink in fully.
Steph xx
I understand this feeling well. All your plans to be who you want to be after school, are just in reach. You need to start being a mature adult (which is hard for me lol)... pretty soon you will be out in the 'real world' facing uni or whatever comes your way... then there is a high possibility of marriage and then children. That does sound rather scary. When Rob and I got together, and started to have a real relationship, I suddenly realised what was ahead of me, I was growing up. Growing up is terrifying... we become more independant and no longer have people making choices for us. When I got out of high school, I knew what I was going to do, but it was scary actually signing up for it. What I signed up for had to be part of my life for a year and a half. Tafe turned out to be very hard and time consuming. I learnt not to expect anything, because God's plans are what matter. If I were you, I would be asking God what he wants you to do. Now that I have passed Tafe, work is just in reach. I still need to recieve my qualification and do CPR before I go job hunting, but still... I am nearly there. Having a job comes with big responsibility, considering I haven't even had a part time job before.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately marriage seems too far away. When Rob and I got together, I was expecting to be married by 19. Well I am nearly 19 and I'm not even engaged,,,, all because Rob has 3 or so more years of UNI, and doesn't have a job. The money I earn at childcare won't be enough for us to live on. I guess what I am saying (sorry it took me a while to say it!)is that God is in controll... things don't always turn out as planned. It is nice to consider options for the future, but don't get too carried away! Think about the present and focus on what you have now. Enjoy being in High School. As nice as being out of School sounds, it has its downsides. I will keep praying for you gorgeous.
xoxo -E-
Yes I know what you mean about growning up, but I think I went through that a few years ago. I think for me it's more like people are just starting to realise that I am, practiaclly, an adult. My father could see it, but my mother has really only just stopped treating me like a child. And, oh, definatly! I agree, and I pray that everyday :)
ReplyDeleteSteph xx